How to Make a Good Confession: A Step-by-Step Catholic Guide
Going to Confession can feel daunting—especially if it has been years, or if you have never been before. But the Sacrament of Reconciliation is not an interrogation or a moment of humiliation. It is an encounter with the mercy of Jesus Christ, who forgives sins and restores us to friendship with God.
This guide explains how to prepare, what to say in the confessional, how to make an examination of conscience, and what to do afterward.
What Is Confession?
Confession is the sacrament in which a Catholic confesses sins to a priest, expresses genuine sorrow, receives absolution in Christ's name, and undertakes a penance. It is also called the Sacrament of Reconciliation or Penance because God reconciles the repentant sinner to Himself and to the Church.
The priest is bound by the sacramental seal: he may never reveal what is said in Confession. You may go anonymously behind a screen or face-to-face, according to what is available and what helps you confess sincerely.
The Five Steps of a Good Confession
A good confession has five basic parts:
Examine your conscience — honestly review your sins since your last confession.
Be sorry for your sins — have real contrition, sorrow for having offended God.
Resolve to avoid sin — intend, with God's grace, not to commit those sins again.
Confess your sins to a priest — state them simply, honestly, and without excuses.
Do your penance — complete the prayer or good work assigned by the priest as soon as reasonably possible.
Before You Go
Pray for honesty and courage
Spend a few quiet minutes asking the Holy Spirit to help you see your sins clearly, without either minimizing them or falling into despair. God already knows everything about your life. Confession is an act of truth, humility, and trust in His mercy.
You might pray:
Come, Holy Spirit. Help me to know my sins, to be sincerely sorry for them, and to confess them honestly. Give me the grace to turn away from sin and to follow Jesus more faithfully. Amen.
Make an examination of conscience
An examination of conscience is a prayerful review of your thoughts, words, actions, and omissions since your last confession. Do not merely ask, “Did I break rules?” Ask instead: “How have I loved God? How have I loved my neighbour? Where have I refused grace?”
It can help to write short private notes, particularly if it has been a long time. Destroy them afterward so that your sins remain private.
Know what must be confessed
Catholics must confess all mortal sins they remember after a careful examination of conscience. Mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge that the act was seriously wrong, and deliberate consent. State the kind of mortal sin and the approximate number of times it was committed.
Venial sins do not need to be confessed for absolution, but confessing them is strongly recommended. It forms the conscience, helps break sinful habits, and opens the heart to grace.
If you are unsure whether something was mortal or venial, simply tell the priest what happened and ask for guidance. Do not let uncertainty keep you away from Confession.
Examination of Conscience
The following questions are prompts, not a checklist to rush through. Read them slowly. Notice where your heart needs God's mercy.
Love of God
First Commandment: I am the Lord your God; you shall not have strange gods before me.
Have I neglected prayer, Sunday Mass, or my relationship with God?
Have I put money, status, politics, pleasure, work, or another person above God?
Have I doubted God's mercy, despaired of salvation, or presumed I could sin without consequence?
Have I sought fortune-telling, occult practices, superstition, or anything contrary to trust in God?
Second Commandment: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
Have I used God's name carelessly, angrily, or irreverently?
Have I made false promises or vows in God's name?
Have I mocked sacred things, blasphemed, or spoken disrespectfully about the Church or the saints?
Third Commandment: Keep holy the Lord's Day.
Have I deliberately missed Sunday Mass or a holy day of obligation without a serious reason?
Have I failed to make Sunday a day for worship, rest, family, and works of mercy where possible?
Love of Neighbour
Fourth Commandment: Honour your father and mother.
Have I been disrespectful, resentful, ungrateful, or disobedient toward my parents or rightful authorities?
Have I neglected my responsibilities to my spouse, children, family members, or those entrusted to my care?
Have I failed to show patience and charity at home?
Fifth Commandment: You shall not kill.
Have I harmed others through violence, cruelty, reckless behaviour, rage, or a refusal to forgive?
Have I encouraged hatred, revenge, bullying, or contempt for another person?
Have I neglected my health through serious excess, substance abuse, or dangerous choices?
Have I refused help to someone in serious need when I could reasonably have helped?
Sixth and Ninth Commandments: You shall not commit adultery; you shall not covet your neighbour's wife.
Have I been unfaithful in marriage, encouraged unfaithfulness, or treated another person as an object?
Have I sought out pornography, entertained impure thoughts deliberately, or engaged in sexual activity outside God's plan for marriage?
Have I failed to respect my own dignity or the dignity of others in speech, dress, entertainment, or conduct?
Seventh and Tenth Commandments: You shall not steal; you shall not covet your neighbour's goods.
Have I stolen, cheated, defrauded, damaged property, or failed to repay what I owe?
Have I been dishonest at work, in business, with taxes, or in using another person's property or time?
Have I been consumed by envy, greed, materialism, or resentment of another person's possessions or success?
Eighth Commandment: You shall not bear false witness.
Have I lied, deceived, exaggerated, or deliberately concealed the truth when I had a duty to speak it?
Have I gossiped, spread rumours, damaged someone's reputation, or shared private information without a good reason?
Have I judged others harshly or entertained suspicions without sufficient evidence?
The Beatitudes and Works of Mercy
Have I been proud, selfish, impatient, vain, or unwilling to forgive?
Have I ignored the poor, lonely, sick, grieving, or vulnerable?
Have I failed to share my time, money, abilities, or faith when love called me to act?
Have I caused division rather than worked for peace?
Have I been ashamed of Christ or failed to witness to the faith when I reasonably could?
What to Say in Confession
You do not need a perfect script. The priest will guide you. If you are nervous, begin by saying, “Father, I have not been to Confession in a long time and I need help.” He will understand.
A common form is:
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [state the time] since my last confession. These are my sins.
Then confess your sins plainly. For example:
“I have missed Sunday Mass twice through my own fault. I have been impatient and angry with my family several times a week. I have gossiped about a colleague. I have neglected prayer.”
State sins, not long stories. Give relevant circumstances only if they change the seriousness of what happened or if the priest needs them to understand. Do not blame other people, make excuses, or hide serious sins out of embarrassment.
For mortal sins, give the approximate number or frequency: “about five times,” “once a month for six months,” or “I do not know exactly, but regularly.” The priest is there to help you receive God's mercy, not to be shocked by your past.
When you have finished, you can say:
For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry.
What Happens Next
The priest may offer counsel, ask a brief clarifying question, or help you see a way forward. Listen with an open heart. He will then give you a penance—usually a prayer, act of charity, or another concrete spiritual act.
Next, the priest will invite you to make an Act of Contrition. There are several approved forms. If you do not know one, ask the priest or use the version printed in the confessional.
Act of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.
The priest then gives absolution. Make the Sign of the Cross when he blesses you. At that moment, if you have made a sincere confession and received absolution, your sins are forgiven.
The priest will dismiss you, often with words such as “Go in peace.” You may respond, “Thanks be to God.”
After Confession
Do your penance
Complete the penance as soon as possible. It does not earn forgiveness—the mercy of God does that—but it expresses repentance and helps repair the harm caused by sin.
Give thanks
Stay for a few minutes in church if you can. Thank Jesus for His mercy. Ask Him for the grace to follow through on the resolution you made.
A simple prayer after Confession:
Lord Jesus, thank You for forgiving me. Help me to live in the freedom You have given me, to avoid sin, to repair any harm I have caused, and to grow in love for You and for my neighbour. Amen.
Make practical changes
A firm purpose of amendment means you sincerely intend to turn from sin. It does not mean you can guarantee never to struggle again. Make one or two practical changes: remove a temptation, apologize to someone you have hurt, set a prayer time, seek accountability, or ask for pastoral help where needed.
Common Questions
What if I have forgotten how to go to Confession?
Tell the priest. You can simply say, “Father, it has been a long time; please help me.” He will guide you step by step.
Can I go face-to-face or behind a screen?
Either is normally possible. Confession may be anonymous behind a screen or face-to-face, depending on the church and your preference.
What if I forget a sin?
If you genuinely forgot a sin after making an honest examination of conscience, it is forgiven with the others. Mention it at your next Confession if it was serious. Never deliberately hide a mortal sin.
What if I am ashamed?
Shame can be a sign that you understand the seriousness of sin, but it must not become a reason to stay away from Christ. Priests hear confessions regularly, are bound by absolute confidentiality, and rejoice when someone returns to God.
How often should I go?
Catholics must confess serious sins before receiving Holy Communion and should confess at least once a year. Many Catholics find monthly confession, or confession every few weeks, a helpful rhythm for spiritual growth.
Can a priest refuse to forgive me?
The priest can grant absolution when he sees genuine repentance and a real intention to change. If a serious obstacle exists, he will explain what needs to be addressed and help you take the next step. Do not be afraid to seek his guidance.
A Final Encouragement
No sin is greater than the mercy of God when a person turns to Him with a contrite heart. Do not wait until you feel worthy to go to Confession—none of us is worthy on our own. Go because Christ is merciful, because He desires your freedom, and because He calls you home.
If it has been a long time, choose the next available confession time and go. Begin with the simple words: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.” The rest can follow.
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