Irish Virus Experts Hoping to Invent New Date for Christmas

We gave up Easter. We delayed Communions. We held off on Confirmations.

We left cemeteries empty at the beginning of November instead of praying near the remains of our loved ones and laying flowers for them.

We entered Level 5 restrictions again, assured that it would allow us to have a normal Christmas.

Now, we face a whole new level of brazen failure to fulfil their promises.

Professor Tomas Ryan of Trinity College was speaking on Newstalk this morning and stated the following,

‘ I think we can return to a normality that is quite like life right now in most of Australia by early January, which would mean Level One or Level Zero restrictions by January, if we get rid of this now.

One way of doing this would be to delay Christmas until the end of January and have a real Christmas and a real party then.”

The haughtiness required to think that you can change centuries of tradition on a whim. Continuing, Professor Ryan explained himself: ‘I don’t think we have been communicated reasonable expectations from the Government on what our Christmas is going to be like.

It is certainly not going to be anything like the Christmases we normally have anyway. The important thing is, we are all in lockdown now, we are paying a heavy price anyway and we want to make sure we get the right benefit from it and we won’t be getting that if we have another lockdown in January.’

Modern man has become so accustomed to thinking that he is immortal, that his fear of death has propelled him to forget to hold to things that make this life worth living. If we take this advice and cancel Christmas, we can guarantee you that you won’t get Christmas at the end of January. We were told in March and April that banning services for St. Patrick’s Day and Easter was the shortcut to restoring normality, yet we haven’t had normality restored. Even as Gaelic football games are allowed, school is allowed and journalists are allowed to travel to their studios.